By: Dani Kolsrud, Mental Health Rep
One of the definitions given in Webster’s New World Dictionary for “personality” is: “The quality or fact of being a particular person; personal identity.” So yes, it definitely does matter! It is referring to our very being as a person. Why am I like I am, and you are like you are? It is our personalities. Those traits we exemplify with regularity in given situations. We refer to these traits quite often with slang expressions — someone who angers easily is said to have a “quick trigger,” someone who is anxious is said to “borrow trouble.” Having been an unmistakable redhead until my mid-sixties when I turned gray, I knew all too well the personality labels associated with having red hair! This “condition” was taken so seriously that Jacky Colliss Harvey actually wrote a book , “Red: A History of the Redhead!” I just read this summation: “Redheads are sunshine mixed with a little hurricane!” (Prompting me now to reassessing myself!)
That may be a tongue in cheek comment, but is it of any consequence or importance to know who you are regarding your personality? All the research I read says, “Yes, it is of utmost importance to know yourself!” In other words, what makes you tick? Since most of us have been at one time, or maybe still are part of a work environment, what do we bring to that setting? Occupations can be listed under the following categories: Realistic, Investigative, Artistic, Social, Enterprising, and Conventional. Someone in the Realistic category would function best and achieve the most satisfaction from “hands on” occupations such as farming, carpentry, and firefighters, for example. Although not rigid, these categories are researched and useful in matching our personality traits with those jobs that best emphasize our stronger personality traits. It is a relatively simple equation — know yourself, know what brings out the best in you, and know how you will react in certain situations.
We assess the personalities of people we are friends with, have work relationships with, family members, in short, anyone we know. We need to pay attention to the word “assess.” To “assess” is not to judge. To “assess” is to become aware of reactions, responses, and traits in someone — in other words, recognizing they exist, but not necessarily taking it upon yourself to determine their worth or whether they are right or wrong. Acknowledging there are some personalities which do not relate well to you, it behooves us to be able to know and accept this — this does not mean there can be no tolerance or acceptance, but instead regulate how much time we spend with this type of personality.
When we become aware of compatible personality traits in other people, we gravitate toward these people. But what about situations where there is a lack of compatible traits, but we still are required to function with this person or group of people? A work situation may come to mind — as adults we hopefully have attained those mechanisms that allow us to be flexible with our personality responses. We can’t just “take our marbles and go home!” I also mentioned family members as having personalities we interact with. I attended a class entitled “Blood Doesn’t Make It Happen.” (I honestly thought it was going to be a hematology class when I registered!). However, this was a class dealing with personality traits within families. Do people in the same family have the same personality traits? No, they do not. So, is this a problem? Well, it can be, but shouldn’t be. There may be two daughters in a family, and one is very compatible with the mother, they do things together, they confide in each other. The other daughter not so much, in fact they almost antagonize each other. Their personalities just don’t complement one another. And this may make for some challenges, but it is ok and to be expected. The problem comes when the one daughter feels she is not measuring up to a standard, not being loved as much. Our personalities are ours; they belong to us, they require some “tweaking” sometimes, and flexibility, but they are who we are and are not required or expected to be on the same plane with everyone else. Maybe this ties in with that old saying: “Don’t judge me by my relatives!”
I am no expert, but in my research, I did not find a marked correlation between “personality” and genetics. However, environment can accentuate personality traits or deplete them. Someone who is encouraged to “act out” in unfavorable conditions may tend to follow this trend into adulthood if nothing is employed from his or her environment to learn techniques for curbing this personality trait in a more tolerable format.
I learned about “Personal Intelligence” from reading a book by John D. Mayer. His theory is that our personalities give us the intelligence to use their attributes in incredibly positive ways. For example: Problem solving — reading other personalities and then knowing how to use our assessment. Learning to understand motives and intentions manifested in others. Recognizing defensive responses. Adapting our decisions with our personalities in mind. It is his contention that self-knowledge is crucial to intelligence.
So, who are you? Do you know yourself? What personalities do you chose to interact with — someone who waits for the rain to pass, or someone who dances in the rain?
Do you “assess” or “judge?” Are you tolerant of mistakes you make and try to learn from them? I like this theory: “I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I am thinking of making a few more!” But whatever your personality is, know this from Psalm 139:1: “O Lord, you have searched me and known me.” And from verse 14 in the same chapter: “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
Recent Comments